And Now it Begins
by cuter-than-a-guinea-pig
Summary: Kurt and Blaine's first time. I tried to keep it sweet and loving and true to the boys. I hope you like it :


**A/N: So I know it's a little late but I had to take my time with this one. The boy's deserve the best. I think I kept it very sweet and loving, at least that was the goal, but it still gets a little graphic in parts. I hope I did them and this night justice. I'd love your feedback, especially b/c this was my first time writing a sex scene.  
>lessthanthree<br>Katie**

They took it slow. They took it slow because that's how they took everything. They were friends for six months before they started dating and they were dating for another six months before they found themselves here. They took it slow because that's all they knew. They took it slow because they wanted to savour every minute and make this night, where everything felt so right, last for eternity. They took it slow because they wanted the other person, that boy that they loved, to feel comfortable, and cherished, and beautiful, and safe, before they ventured further. They took it slow so that they themselves could return to a calm sense of state because every new expanse of skin that they were allowed to explore on that boy that had change their world was exhilarating and overwhelming and terrifying and absolutely perfect. They took it slow because in that moment slow was what they needed from each other and from themselves.

After a silent car ride of shy glances and timid smiles and adorable blushes, they had made their way up the elaborate stair case and down the hall to their right to the room at the end. Their fingers were intertwined; they had been since they walked out of the auditorium. Blaine shut the door carefully. His parents were away on business but there had been an atmosphere that settled between the boys ever since Kurt had uttered those words unashamedly on stage that seemed to require quiet. Kurt had only been in this room a handful of times but there was something about its vibe that was so very Blaine that made him feel at home. It was a sharp contrast to every other room in the impressive house that had left an unsettling, ominous feeling in his stomach. It was weird that a room in a house in which he rarely visited could stir up emotion like that. Maybe it wasn't the room though. Maybe Kurt was subconsciously feeding off his boyfriend's emotions, tensing at anything causing Blaine pain, relaxing at anything bringing the boy comfort. Maybe their journey to becoming one had started long ago.

Blaine had rested his back against the door once he had closed it and gently tugged on their intertwined hands to bring Kurt closer. Kurt pulled his eyes away from bright red and white plaid comforter that lay unknowingly on his boyfriend's double bed and turned around to be engulfed by the boy's strong arms. He always melted in Blaine's arms, even when they had just been friends. Blaine had always given off a protective vibe when it came to him and his hugs were where it showed the most. They had a way of being all encompassing, of engulfing him completely, creating a shield around him, around them both that made him feel that the outside world had all but vanished, that nothing else mattered but him, but them. There was a lot of world out there, a lot of things that they hadn't and wouldn't experience, a lot people they would never meet or understand, a lot of good and hope and joy, a lot of bad and defeat and fear. None of it mattered right now though. Nothing could pull the boys minds or bodies or souls away from each other. Everything could try but it nothing could ever succeed.

They parted after sharing a very drawn out, slow, soft kiss. They were left breathless, panting against each other. Kurt knew that some of his heavy breathing wasn't due to lack of oxygen but instead the anticipation of what was to come. An anticipation that grew as he felt Blaine's hands tentatively stretch out over his bare hips underneath his shirt. Kurt's hands instinctively fisted in his boyfriend's navy and white stripped top as Blaine's thumbs caressed his skin. He needed something to hold. It already felt good.

"_Can I take your vest off?"_

"_Yes."_

Blaine's golden pools returned reassuringly to his and never wavered as he brought his hands to the bottom button and worked his way up, sliding it off his shoulders and catching before it hit the ground. He gave Kurt a peck on the nose before walking over to the chair in the corner and placing it over the arm. Kurt felt a little naked without Blaine standing right there, without his body heat radiating into the depths of own fragile being. His fingers itched and he busied them by pulling his long-sleeved shirt over his head and dropping it on the floor and then removing his shoes. He looked up to see that Blaine had removed his top too and was now standing before him in a grey wife beater. Kurt's breath hitched at the sight. He stood transfixed by the boy's arms and the outline of his toned chest. Blaine brought him out of his revive by taking Kurt's hand and bringing it to his lips before walking them to the bed.

They lay peacefully for a long time. Initially, only holding hands but as time drew on their heads came to rest on the same pillow and as they kissed and nuzzled, hands wandered slowly and aimlessly over chests and shoulders, arms and backs, tentatively, beneath undershirts. Their torsos drifted closer, their legs intertwined, their hips met. Kurt's eyes sprang to Blaine's the moment he felt it. He hadn't really even realized he was hard, he hadn't realized Blaine was either. He felt the adrenaline rush through his veins, the love and tenderness momentarily replaced by need and want. The baby penguin temporarily buried below the fire that had finally ignited. It was exhilarating and terrifying and at the same time, amazing because it was Blaine. His boyfriend chuckled softly at the surprised look that swept through his eyes, turning the ever changing irises from baby's breath to indigo instantaneously. Blaine leaned in and pressed his lips softly to Kurt's, whispering 'I love you' into the kiss. Maybe he should have been embarrassed by his innocence, maybe he should have found Blaine's amusement patronizing, but he wasn't, he couldn't, not with Blaine, not when he could see the adoration shine, unhindered, through those memorizing pools of gold.

"_Do you want to keep going?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Can I take your shirt off?"_

"_Only if I can take yours off too."_

"_Of course. I can't be the only one having fun."_

The light teasing brought a soft smile to Kurt's face. He sat up slowly and Blaine lightly climbed into his lap. He felt Blaine's hands grasp the bottom of his shirt but forgot about it when the boy's lips pressed to his. Kurt felt Blaine's tongue glide along his kissed swollen lips and he let it lick and press for a minute, savoring the tickle and the pressure and the wet. It was heaven. They rarely made out like this but Kurt always found this part his favorite. He liked the teasing, the promise of more, the buildup. Blaine discovered this simple quirk quickly and always took his time here hoping to give Kurt the most pleasure that he possibly could. He also rather enjoyed the salty taste of Kurt's lips and feeling them swell and soften under his touch. The lack of oxygen eventually forced Kurt, as it always did, to open his mouth, allowing Blaine to slip in. He suddenly found himself in even more of a trance as his boyfriend sensually licked the roof of his mouth and the back of his teeth. It was so hypnotizing that Kurt didn't even realize that Blaine was slipping off his undershirt until their mouths had to part so the material could be lifted over his head. There was a pause where they stared at each other, breathless and flushed, before Kurt moved his hands under Blaine's tank and slowly lifted it over the soft curls that had begun to break free from their gelled prison. He ran his hands over Blaine's chest as he did so he felt the course, raised lines that crisscrossed the smooth skin, a silent reminder of the battle Blaine had fought to be with him, here tonight and for days to come. The scars however, did not distract from the ripple of the boy's naturally formed abs which caused his fingers to tingle, wanting more. He felt a tingle somewhere else too wanting more.

Kurt had never been one of those guys who were comfortable being shirtless. It didn't really have anything to do with his disdain for his pale skin or lack of rippling muscles. It was just the way he was. Now however, as the boy's took in the sight of each other's naked torso, Kurt couldn't find it in him to want to hide. Maybe it was because he was too entranced by Blaine's body, the darkened and hardened nipples, the lighter colouring of the scars in contrast to his tan skin, the heavy breathing causing his abs to contract and relax continuously, the sparingly dark hair that began to gather at his belly button and disappeared beneath his belt, the prominent hip bones that created that delicious v-shape which so unashamedly drew all attention down, down to where Kurt could see the distinct bulge. Maybe it was because the look in Blaine's eyes, the look of awe and hunger but also love, that came across them as he took in his pale skin making Kurt feel wanted and cherished and safe pinned between his boyfriend and the headboard. Maybe it was just because it was Blaine who he was with.

"_God, you're gorgeous."_

He flushed at Blaine's words. He always flushed at Blaine's compliments. He didn't think he would ever grow out of it. Kurt knew Blaine liked seeing him become flustered at his words though, he knew his boyfriend thought it was adorable and he could tell it boosted Blaine's confidence, so he was ok with it.

They let their hands wander and explore and learn the other body, slowly sliding so that Kurt was now lying down and Blaine was on top of him, straddling his hips. They kissed but soon lips began to wander as well and as Blaine's teeth found the pulse point on his neck, Kurt's hips bucked, involuntarily, upwards and the boys, once again, came in contact with each other. The adrenaline rush returned. Lying, relaxed, against the sheets was no longer good enough. He wanted to move, to touch, to feel, to be with Blaine. He needed it. The feeling subsided a bit once their hips parted but he looked up at Blaine with a smile and a nod, a silent understanding passing between them and Blaine lowered himself, kissing Kurt softly, and sweetly, and chastely before he initiated the contact and held it. It took a while to get a rhythm but it came and Kurt would have described it as heavenly but there was something a little too dirty about the slow rocking of their hips, something a little too intense and powerful about the way his heart pounded and his skin burned to compare it to something as serene as fluffy, snow white clouds and soft playing harps. It was scary giving in to the feeling, letting his body take over his mind, letting someone else see that desire within him. Blaine was right there though; it was only him, the person Kurt trusted even more than himself at times, the boy that loved him more than anything in the world, the boy that always made him feel safe.

Blaine found his pulse point again and began sucking as he kept the slow and steady rock of hips in sync with Kurt's and Kurt moaned at the pressure. He froze instantly, mortified at himself for making such a noise. It reminded him of _those_ movies, something Kurt never wanted this to become. Blaine seemed unphased though. He kept rocking and sucking and moaning back. Blaine soon realized Kurt had stopped responding and stopped himself, peering into his boyfriend's eyes with concern.

"_You ok? Do you want to stop or slow down or something?"_

"_Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just….. I don't know. It's just embarrassing, you know?"_

"_What is?"_

"_Umm, you know…just this."_

"_That you're… umm, enjoying it?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Kurt, that's kinda the point. Hey, look at me. Don't be embarrassed, ok. I know where you're coming from but I want you to enjoy this and it's easier to tell if I'm doing something right if you have some sort of response. Can I tell you a secret?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_I liked the moan; it was hot."_

"_I just don't want you to look at me differently."_

"_Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see this amazing boy that I'm absolutely in love with, more in love with than I ever thought possible. Nothing you do could ever change that. You'll always be my sweet, precious, baby penguin."_

Kurt relaxed instantly at Blaine's words. Six months ago he hated his innocence and shyness when it came to sex but now he was scared to let go of it. It had become a part of who he was. It was his security blanket. When people tried to devalue his feelings for Blaine he could hold his head up high knowing that his relationship with the other boy was not one born and dictated by the desperate desire in his pants simply because he didn't have one. Their relationship was born instead out of companionship, friendship, admiration, inspiration, affection, and honest, uncontaminated love. Kurt knew this. He had a mind that was still capable of thinking for itself and not mindlessly following the person who screamed the loudest. He knew it was the beating of his heart that drew him to Blaine and not the throbbing in his crotch, even though he also knew that his heart had really nothing to do with anything and it was actually his brain that dictated his feelings. He knew allowing himself to experience his body's natural craving wouldn't change anything, wouldn't make what those people said true. Hearing Blaine say this though, hearing him put it so simply and affectionately, made those trivial facts tangible, made him believe what he already knew.

"_How is it possible that you're so perfect?"_

"_You must bring out the best in me."_

"_Can we keep going?"_

"_Only if you're sure."_

"_I'm sure. I love you."_

"_I love you too KK."_

Blaine leaned up a bit and kissed his forehead. He kissed both eyelids as they fluttered shut, both cheeks, slightly flushed with all the attention and then kissed the tip of his nose before connecting their lips briefly and tenderly and then continuing south. Blaine kissed along his jaw and down his neck, he kissed across his collar bone and then down to his right nipple. He gave the pink bud a gentle peck and hesitant lick before moving across Kurt's chest to do the same for the other. Blaine was a little more confident this time after Kurt let out a breathy sigh and wriggled his hips when his lips made contact with the first one. He sucked a bit this time. Not a lot, just enough to earn him a soft moan and another wriggle. Kurt felt Blaine continue to his stomach, kissing every rib bone that protruded slightly from his lithe frame on the way. He knew this should be a sensual moment but Kurt couldn't help the giggle at the tickle of his boyfriend's five 'clock shadow on his smooth skin and at the sheer goofiness of Blaine's mission to pepper every inch of his abdomen with playful pecks. It was so freeing to still be able to play with Blaine knowing the position he was in and what was to come next. It was freeing to know that Blaine cared about him enough to simply want to hear his giggle because Kurt knew his laughter only egged Blaine on. Blaine's eyes had always lit up when he managed to make Kurt laugh, to see the pure joy in the boy he loved outshine all bad and knowing that he was the cause. It gave him a purpose.

Blaine's head moved lower and lower and his kisses grew messier and wetter until he was practically licking Kurt's belly button. Kurt continued to giggle at his boyfriend's ministrations until a lap and gentle nip at his hip bone caused a much deeper, drawn out sound to come out, a sound that came from a place of pleasure rather than one of joy. Blaine slowed at the reaction and returned to the sweet, loving pecks as he moved his lips along the waist band of Kurt's jeans. Kurt let out another hushed moan as Blaine's tongue connected with his other hip bone.

He was so lost in the sensation that it took him a moment to realize Blaine's mouth was no longer on his skin. He peered down to only to be met by the darkest shade that he had ever seen wash over those warm hazel eyes. He held the intense gaze, weather by his own will or not, and soon the sweetness that found a home there returned. Blaine always tended to soften under his gaze. Words passed silently between them, an art they had perfected when they had to hide their affection. There was a question, an answer, and a declaration of love that passed from gold to turquoise and back again. However, Kurt could still see Blaine's hesitance. He knew Blaine was still beating himself up over his drunken persistence and was scared of making the same mistake. He could see it in his eyes.

Kurt reached for Blaine's hand with a shy smile and squeezed it, giving him a reassuring nod. He felt Blaine squeeze back and hold on tight and then he felt the familiar, guitar calloused, fingers on the button. They were shaky but they knew their mission and how to carry it out. Kurt shuddered as Blaine's knuckles brushed him as he worked the zipper down. The release felt better than he could have ever expected. The fact that there was even more to come excited him to the point that lifting his hips as Blaine's hands curled around the waist band was done instinctively, without a second thought.

The coolness of the air that hit him made him shiver. The November chill was only heightened by the small wet patch that had formed on his purple briefs. He blushed and shifted, embarrassed by his body's arousal but Blaine hadn't seemed to take notice. His gaze was still soft and locked on Kurt's eyes and Kurt relaxed into the soft press of his swollen lips upon his own.

"_I like your briefs; they're cute."_

"_Thanks."_

Kurt giggled a bit at Blaine's compliment. It in itself was cute because of the simplicity, and ease, and honesty in which it was said. It was just a very Blaine. Seeing the boy that he had fallen in love with shine through all the anticipation and expectation and fear and excitement gave Kurt the courage to let go of his boyfriend's hand and instead reach up for the button on Blaine's pants. He could feel Blaine's lips curl into a smile against his own and couldn't help but return it. He had always found Blaine's smile infectious. His hands became surer and soon they were both left in their underwear. Kurt had all intentions of keeping his eyes on Blaine's. Blaine had paid him that courtesy and he had greatly appreciated it. He was drawn down though, down to strained, white boxer briefs. They left little to the imagination and Kurt couldn't help but stare at their own little grey wet patch. It was something he had been the cause of. Blaine didn't seem to mind the attention. He leaned down, smirking into slow kiss before whispering against Kurt's lips.

"_I see my underwear choice has earned the Kurt Hummel, fashion stamp of approval."_

"_Hun….What?"_

"_Mmmmmm, you're just too adorable."_

"_You're pretty cute yourself with those big puppy eyes, and shaggy hair, and pouty lips."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah."_

A pair of light giggles filled the air before Blaine leaned down once more and connected their lips. Kurt snaked his arms around the boys torso, splaying his hands and pulling him down, down so that he could feel Blaine's weight on top of him pushing him down into the welcoming mattress, down so that their naked chests pressed and rubbed, down so that their hips were flush, down so that the only thing separating them were two pieces of soft, thin, damp cotton. They kissed and pressed and rocked and moaned and whimpered until it became too much.

"_B-Blaine?"_

"_Yes, angle?"_

"_Umm…d-did you want to just do this or did you want to….go all the way because I'm…umm…I'm sorta getting cl-close."_

"_We can do whatever you want Kurt."_

"_I want you to make love to me." _

"_God, I love you Kurt."_

Blaine had lifted his hips off of Kurt's while they were whispering and as Kurt felt Blaine's lips fall sweetly back to his, he also felt the guitar calloused fingers snake down between them. He felt them glide effortlessly along the white waist band of his purple briefs, tickling but still soothing. He squirmed and tensed and held his breath as the fingers grazed lower, over the thin, cotton barrier, the last barrier. They danced up and down tentatively. Kurt was grateful for this. He needed time to relax under the seemingly forbidden touch. He liked knowing that even though Blaine acted confident about this he was still nervous and unsure. It was a weird conflict in Kurt's head. He liked when Blaine acted as if this was just as simple and familiar as sitting at their table in the Lima Bean with a non-fat mocha latte and a medium drip because having someone he trusted to guide him, helped supress the fear. At the same time though, Kurt liked when that hint of fear crept out from beneath the dapper confidence because he liked the feeling of being on the same level as Blaine. Knowing that his boyfriend was in the same uncharted waters that he was made him feel more connected to the boy, it made it seem harder to disappoint if they were both unsure of what to expect. Kurt knew it didn't make sense but maybe it wasn't supposed to. Love very rarely made sense.

Blaine eventually found his confidence again as Kurt felt his hand cup him through his briefs. He broke away from Blaine's mouth and bit his lip to hide the whimper of pleasure at the much needed touch. Blaine began to kiss down his body again, this time continuing past the waist band and to the little wet patch. Kurt wiggled at the hot, damp breath ghosting over him. It sent shivers through his body and yet at the same time made the warmth gathered between his legs spread outwards. He looked down to see the question swirling in the golden pools and nodded back before resting his head back against the soft pillow and closing his eyes. He couldn't watch Blaine do this, not yet. He tensed as he felt fingers curl under the elastic but relaxed again when his boyfriend nuzzled his nose gently into the front of his briefs, into him, placing a feather like kiss to him before beginning to pull. Kurt lifted his hips, consciously this time, and waited anxiously for what seemed like an eternity until Blaine's lips were on him, without a barrier now, pressing light kisses along him and then back up his torso and back to his own lips. He was completely naked now, bare, exposed and yet as Blaine hovered over him, close enough so that their chests touched as they inhaled, he found himself covered completely. He was safe in the arms of the boy he loved, safe under the ever warm, adoring, loving gaze.

Blaine reached over to his nightstand to get the ominous square packet and little tube of clear liquid. Kurt consciously decided not to care about when Blaine had bought them or how full the tube was. None of it mattered right now. He wasn't sure if it would ever really matter. Blaine placed the items a little too carefully beside them and returned to him, nuzzling their noses together and whispering against his lips.

"_Did you want me to get you ready or did you want to do it?"_

Kurt blushed at the question, turning away from his boyfriend. This was the part that he hated the most, not that he had any actual experience, he just knew. He didn't like the thought that someone had to be prepared, prepared with copious amounts of a slippery substance created in a lab. It made everything seem unnatural. It made it all seem wrong. If his body craved Blaine's touch so much, why wasn't it designed to receive it? He wanted the touch though, more than he had ever wanted it before so with a deep breath he let his inhibitions fade to the back of his mind for another day.

Kurt knew he needed Blaine to do this part. There was no way he would be able to touch himself in front of his boyfriend. He could never really do it when he was alone. It was odd to him that society was conditioned to think that it was better for someone else to touch you than it was for you to touch yourself. It never really made sense to Kurt but he knew all too well that societal norms held fast and this was one he was content to abide by.

"_Can you do it?"_

"_Of course. Is this going to be the first time?"_

"_Blaine!"_

"_Sorry. I was just wondering if you knew what to expect."_

"_I've, ummm, read some stuff but I've never tried anything."_

"_Ok, just try to relax and bare down. I'll go slow and just tell me if you want me to stop or you need a minute."_

"_Ok."_

"_Ok. Here, put this under your hips and maybe bend your knees up."_

Blaine grabbed one of his extra pillows and slid it gently under Kurt and then settled into Kurt's side so that his chin was pillowed into his boyfriend's chest. They were pressed flush, the closest they could get, and yet Kurt still wanted him closer. The pillow had raised his pelvis and he felt very much on display. He thought that maybe Blaine had anticipated this and that's why he had cuddled up into side. It was little things like that that made Blaine so amazing.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah."

Blaine tilted his head down so he could plant kisses on Kurt's chest. Kurt knew Blaine was trying to get him to relax. He felt Blaine's hand rub his tummy soothingly while his other hand found Kurt's and intertwined their fingers. Slowly, the hand caressing his stomach moved lower and lower until Blaine was finally holding him. Kurt's eye's snapped shut and his mouth fell open at the touch. As Blaine began to stroke him though, his eyes began to flutter and his open mouth tuned into a soft smile. Blaine got a steady rhythm going and Kurt practically melted under the friction of the guitar calluses, his muscles and bones seemingly disappearing as his body tuned out everything but the pleasure building in his groin. His hips started rocking up into Blaine's hand even though Kurt had no idea how it was possible since his body felt like goo. He felt cold when Blaine pulled away but the haze of bliss still fogged his mind and liquefied his limbs.

"_Ready, angel?"_

"_Yeah."_

He felt the warmth of Blaine's fingers return but they were lower this time. They danced teasingly around his prenium in a figure eight like pattern. They were slicker now, the glide smooth and wet. Kurt was expecting it to be cold but it wasn't. Blaine must have warmed the slippery liquid up with those heavenly fingers before touching him. Blaine slid his index finger down more and traced the crevasse between his cheeks. Up and down, up and down. Kurt strangely found it soothing. That was probably Blaine's intent. With each pass, Kurt could feel a little more pressure applied to his hole. It wasn't unpleasant. It tickled a bit, if tickle was the right word. It made him a little squirmy. The up and down eventually grew shallow so that Blaine was simply circling him slowly. There was a little pressure and Kurt couldn't help the instinctive flutter due to Blaine's touch.

"_Kurt?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I don't really know what I'm doing here so I need you to tell me what feels good or if it hurts or when you're ready for more. I usually love that you're shy about this but I need you to help me right now."_

"_Ok."_

"_Can I ….?"_

"_Yeah."_

Kurt could tell Blaine was nervous because it took him a while before he built up the courage to actually apply enough pressure in order to slip past that first ring of muscle. He did though and then Blaine was inside him and it felt weird and the thought of it was somewhat overwhelming but so incredibly amazing at the same time because not only was Kurt about to have sex but he had found and fallen in love with someone who loved him back and wanted to have sex with him too. Blaine stopped when he got to the first knuckle. Kurt could feel his boyfriend panting against his chest and thought that maybe the pause was more so Blaine could collect himself than it was for Kurt to adjust. Kurt wished Blaine had kept going. It didn't hurt but it felt really odd and he could feel his muscles clenching and relaxing around Blaine and he thought that if maybe Blaine was moving, he wouldn't notice the embarrassing flutter.

"_You ok?"_

"_Move."_

"_Ok."_

They speak in affectionate whispers and Blaine slowly pushes all the way in. It still isn't as bad as Kurt expected but this was only Blaine's finger. As his boyfriend moved in slow circles, in and out, Kurt could start to feel a dull ache building. The burn of the stretch heightened as Blaine added a second and third but it felt good too. It was hard to pinpoint the exact feeling of slide and the stretch and the press or the emotion behind the act but there was no denying the tingling heat that was building steadily in his lower abdomen. It may hurt but they had to be doing something right because all the nerves in his body were begging him not to stop Blaine's actions. Kurt's hips had, at some point, started quietly rocking with the motion Blaine set. He wasn't even aware of his own movements until Blaine brushed that bundle of nerves within him that made him involuntarily buck.

"_Oh my god!" _

"_Did I find it?"_

"_Yeah. Can you do it again?"_

"_Of course."_

They were both breathless as the spoke, happy to return to the comfortable silence broken only by heavy breathing and the occasional sound of bliss. Kurt felt Blaine's hand twine into his hair and the boy's lips return to his chest. There was a difference in the movements in his fingers now. They seemed to have a definite mission, a target to seek out. It didn't take long for them to hit the bull's-eye and this time Blaine seemed to have taken note of its position and began stroking it again and again. That burning desire had been building slowly but it was now ignited to the point where it didn't seem extinguishable.

"_Blaine, I think I'm getting close."_

"_Ok. Are you still sure because we can just keep doing this?"_

"_No, no, I'm sure. I'm really, really, sure…..Do you still want to?"_

"_More than you know KK."_

Blaine gently slid his fingers out and Kurt squirmed at the loss. Being empty now felt weirder than being full. He was a little appalled by how much his body was screaming for Blaine to come back. The physical part of sex was supposed to be like that though, full of selfish want and need and all-encompassing desire that was entirely animalistic. It was the emotional side that humanized the act. It was the emotional side that made Kurt reach up and pull Blaine into a hug, made them linger in each other's loving gave, brushing sweaty locks from the other's soft eyes, that dictated that that final kiss before they became one be sweet and delicate and chaste.

"_You're so handsome."_

"_And you're my perfect angel."_

"_I love you Blaine."_

"_I love you too Kurt." _

Kurt could feel Blaine getting into position and lifted his legs to wrap around Blaine's waist. After another nod of affirmation and a kiss to his stomach, Kurt could feel Blaine start to push past that tight ring of muscle. It hurt more than his fingers had. It hurt a lot more. Before there had been a stretch, now it was like he was being ripped in two. The tears welled almost instantly and started to trickle down his reddened checks when Blaine noticed his distress. He didn't want Blaine to feel guilty. The pain was inevitable. Blaine had been slow and gentle and had done everything right. This wasn't his fault. Kurt knew Blaine would never believe any of this though. The boy cared about him too much to let anything that caused tears to slide.

"_Oh god, Kurt…..I'm so sorry angel. I…I don't know what to do."_

"_It's-it's ok. Just stay still."_

"_We can stop. Kurt, I won't be mad or upset or disappointed or hurt if you want to stop. I promise." _

"_No, just wait. It's supposed to be like this."_

"_Nothing should ever be like this."_

"_Don't say that."_

"_Hey, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry KK."_

"_I know. I still love you."_

"_I'll always love you."_

Blaine leaned forward to kiss away his tears. His hands moved from rubbing soothing circles into his hip bones to caressing his tear stained cheeks and back again. His hands moved slowly and methodically but never stilled. Kurt could tell that the endless, comforting actions were just as much for Blaine as they were for him. He could tell Blaine was having a hard time keeping still. Kurt could feel him trembling ever so slightly as he clung to Blaine's back. He knew Blaine was using it as a distraction. It didn't bother Kurt though. Blaine was doing everything he could to make it better for him and if that happened to help him too, then that was fine. This wasn't just about him after all. This was about both of them, together. Kurt began to stroke Blaine's back to try and sooth him too because he didn't like feeling the shake in Blaine's strong frame. His fingers eventually found the dimples in his boyfriend's lower back that he had discovered earlier that evening and he began tracing circles within them. Focusing on Blaine helped to relax him and take his mind off the pain. It slowly ebbed and though Kurt wasn't sure if it was because his mind was simply elsewhere or if he had actually relaxed enough to be comfortable, he didn't care. He didn't care because before all he could feel was the excruciating, burning stretch but now the fire building in the pit of his stomach had engulfed the ache, allowing that needy throb to surface once more. His body wanted more. He wanted more.

Kurt nuzzled the hand that had returned to his cheek once more, turning his head to kiss the open palm. He looked back to Blaine, who was staring back at him in awe, and slowly rolled his hips up. The reaction he got from his boyfriend was amazing. Blaine's eyes rolled back before his head fell to Kurt's shoulder, hips bucking into his. The moan that escaped his lips was done for the first time that night without hindrance of skin or reservation. It was like Blaine had lost all control of his body, like he had succumbed completely to the feeling, to Kurt. Kurt rolled his hips again, captivated by the undoing of his ever proper boyfriend, curious and excited to see more. This time though, Blaine met Kurt's hips with his own and they were both lost to the wild fire spreading quickly from their cores, torching all past inhibitions like they were kindling in its wake.

They rocked together, building a rhythm that would eventually lead them over the edge. Blaine's left hand pressed into Kurt's hip and his right tangled in Kurt's hair as he supported himself on his forearm. Kurt could feel the scratch of his boyfriend's stubble and the tickle of the curly locks, which, with the help of a little sweat, had triumphantly broken free from the gel, on his neck and shoulder which Blaine had buried his head in. Kurt's hands roamed Blaine's back, searching for a hold but never succeeding. There was simply nothing that could ground him as the incredible feeling of Blaine moving deep within took over his being. He could feel Blaine slide against his inner walls. He could feel the warmth of him. He could feel the subtle way each rock would stretch the inner muscles and he could feel them relax as Blaine pulled back. Every so often he could even feel the pulse that racked through his boyfriend radiate into him as well. It wasn't just down there though. Blaine was everywhere. Kurt could feel the hot, damp breath on his neck, the swollen lips on his collar bone when Blaine planted sloppy kisses to his wanting skin. He could feel the rub of their chests, the hardened nipples brushing back and forth. He could feel the sweat dripping from Blaine and mixing with his own. His boyfriend even managed to be in the air surrounding them. His deep moans floating heavily to Kurt's ears and that familiar scent of peppermint and sawdust, mixed with what could only be called sex, flooded his nostrils in a most welcome manner. It was dirty, and intense, and all consuming, and as much as he claimed to be a baby penguin, Kurt loved every minute of it because he was finally getting to love everything that was Blaine.

"_K-Kurt?"_

"_Un-hun?"_

"_I'm getting…..I'm getting c-close."_

"_Me too."_

Kurt didn't notice Blaine's hand leave his hip until it was wrapped firmly around him. He bucked into the warm friction instinctively. Blaine began stroking him in time with his thrusts as best he could. He could feel the edge approaching faster now than it had been before. He could feel the fire begin to coil deep within him. The sudden barrel towards the end brought the fear back. This would be it. This would make everything official. This would be the final act in giving his everything to Blaine.

"_Cum for me, angel. I've got you Kurt, just let go."_

And then it was as if the world disappeared. The tightly wound coil seemed to burst and the tingle that had encompassed his groin spread throughout his limbs, his mind, his soul. He arched his back in a silent yell, trembling as he fell down towards the bed. He clutched to Blaine, digging his fingers into the boy's solid shoulders but then Blaine was trembling against him too. Their hips bucked unconsciously towards each other seeking out more friction, more pleasure, just more. They rocked together as they rode out the final waves of pleasure, pleasure that they had given to each other, until it became too much and Blaine collapsed on top of him.

Kurt could feel the stickiness between them but he didn't have the energy or the heart to care at the moment. He wanted to feel Blaine's weight against him, wanted to feel his hot breath panting against his skin, wanted to feel the rise and fall of their chests fall into sync, wanted to feel their rapid heartbeats fall into sync, wanted to feel him twitch still inside, still connected, still one.

They laid as one for what could have been hours or maybe mere minutes until Blaine leaned up and kissed him. It was sweet and soft and slow. Blaine looked into his eyes with that same adoring gaze that was always just for him. The declaration of love passed between them in silence. He pulled out carefully causing both of them to whimper at the oversensitivity and the loss of the other.

"_Stay still; I'll be right back KK."_

Blaine returned moments later, condom gone and a warn wash cloth in hand. Kurt lay in utter bliss as his boyfriend lovingly cleaned off his tummy. Kurt blushed a bit at the intimacy and tenderness of the act. Blaine leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"_I love your blush. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."_

"_Come here."_

Blaine quickly disposed of the wash cloth and crawled back in Kurt's waiting arms. Kurt pulled him up for another tender kiss before allowing the boy to settle snuggly into his chest. Blaine's arms snaked around his torso, holding him close and intertwined their legs. Kurt threaded his fingers gently into the soft, dark curls, relishing just as much in their freedom as they did. He felt the rise and fall of their chests fall into sync as their breathing slowed and they drifted off together, breathing as one into the night.


End file.
